02.19.2009

been hiding out
as a result of physical ills,
namely dealing with the ever-increasing challenges of having
celiac's disease.
which my roommate teases me about,
using "quotes" to say the words,
"your disease "
in a refreshingly condescending manner
.
so, in case you're wondering, there is a list of
symptoms
which will hopefully dispel all  ignorant assumptions.

maybe that's just how people try to show that they care,
by being petty and invasive.

also fighting the chronic pains in my lower back.
though they are also physical in nature, sometimes i wonder if it isn't the result of
something more emotionally fragile
since the pain only occurs directly after an event of some magnitude involving an

upheaval of great sadness and loss.

the one thing that does seem to be working is
laying on ice for 10 minutes every 2 hours .
not only can you stop what you're doing and just lie there,
but one also tends to think about things in those 10 minutes
that normally would escape examination.
time spent on the floor makes you realize how long 10 minutes really is,
once removed from the distractions that usually soak up great portions of our lives.

though,
i am grateful to have a floor i can still afford to lay on
especially after missing so many hours at work....

i feel better,
now back to
drinking coffee,
reading books,
listening to lots of
BURZUM,
booking shows for a tour up north,
and finishing bitter pie # 20!!!



01.09

made it through the holidays....thank fuck!
and despite riots, flooding and earthquakes,
i am actually looking forward to this year,
especially if you consider it
one of the last 3 humanity has left on this planet.
i know that's a little extreme,
but it puts life in perspective, doesn't it?
it's also fun to say out loud at parties.

somehow managed to play 3 shows within one week,
and even though i blew my wad twice over during the
amnesia new year's day event,
somehow made it through the overcrowded
dogs of ire/prizehog/p.e.r.i.n.e.u.m./weltschmerz show at our house
without killing anyone.

completely sick and sore now, so
i'm doing this 10 day cleanse with lemonade.
my roommates think it's funny
and like to spread rumors that i'm bulemic,
how girlishly cute...
god love 'em...

...just try to stay positive.
that's all.


issue #20 is just over 1/2 way done!
and when it's finished, i will begin the process
of looking for a publisher to put out the
BITTER PIE ANTHOLOGY.
it's a dream, i know....
but we all have them.
and sometimes, they become reality.






12.10

the plug headphone festival was indeed a fuckfest of cables and mesmerizing noise!!

we inadvertently streamed live to the
art and terrorism festival in marsailles, france
which was a lovely surprise.
art & terrorism festival...
no fucking way
that would happen here
in the u.s.of a.

also this year was the first time we streamed live performances in from remote locations:
roger mills did a trumpet experiment from sydney, australia,
mixile performed from his breakfast table in ireland
and
nicolas carras streamed in from montrouge, france
(though we lost his connection in bits).
didn't take enough pictures, but here is one of
ozmadawn 's
shamelessly gorgeous custommade equipment....

all in all, it went rather smoothly with the
unending support
of jason who did all the tech work,
erich of filthmilk who did all the soundwork,
and
erik, the originator of le placard, who lent his helping hand,
charles formerly of 5lowershop,
and
andy of evil moisture
for talking us through it all on the
placard irc chat .


so now, it's time to get back to inking comix!!
#20 is coming along nicely...


plus there are some new things to look forward to like

PAPERCUTS #1:
a comix and music show at kimo's

the next
bleakhaus show on BOXING DAY,

next fridays deathmetaldoomcore show at 5lowershop with
EMBERS, ANIMOSITY , DRUMCORPS , EUSTACHIAN , AND REALICIDE ,

and playing with p.e.r.i.n.e.u.m. again
at amnesia on NEW YEAR'S DAY!!


sometimes
i wonder if i've
gone
bipolar.




11.24


samhain was fucking great.
had
the bitchinest bleakhaus hallow weener show,
[
p.e.r.i.n.e.u.m. are TRUE & MIGHTY CONJURERS!! ]
though the joy was coupled with the tragic theft of my beloved black cruiser.

working more hours now, and the plan seems to be proving itself viable
as the tour fund is slowly growing.
so i am experiencing my own economic
DING DONG THE WITCH IS DEAD
scenario, albeit on a microcosmic level.

after the election, it suddenly became clear
what an awful dark and heavy cloud the
BUSH DICK administration has been.
even subconsciously.
i will be extremely happy if i never have to see that
smirking fuckface lying through its teeth ever again.
you would be too, unless, of course, you believe everything that politicians tell you...

sometimes i'm just grateful i still have a job and a place to live.

even if i am the lowest paid record store employee ever,
i did find a copy of
woodie guthrie's dustbowl songs record
for a dollar....

all other free time is being spent getting ready for
PLUG4 headphone festival ,
a mere 2 weeks away.
already i'm having nightmares that 36 performers show up, but the door is locked,
you know, shit like tha
t.
i'm in my underwear or whatever.

and of course,
INKING  THE NEW ISSUE #20!!!!!!
YAY.
i really do love inking.
but the weird thng is,
this new story includes a lot of people from highschool when i lived in alabama,
and after spending weeks drawing them, suddenly i'm receiving emails from them.
good to hear people are doing well after 20 years.
but
the timing is so weird .

just got news that our friend oscar killed himself.
his favorite thing to say when people would ask him how he was doing was.
"I'M JUST TRYING TO STAY POSITIVE"..



09.29.2008

after having accepted the fact that yet again this year,
i cannot afford a table at
APE
boo hoo
i did receive some good news in the form of
a letter at my door about
zine world including
bitter pie in issue #26.
so all is not lost .

i was feeling incredibly lackluster about this year's headphone festival
and struggling with the ever infuriating
eliticism of san francisco's noise SCENE,
which like all scenes, i don't pass the test
and am not considered a member.
though i'll probably do it just to do it,
fuck the scene.

perhaps i'm  just tired
thanks to  the gnarliest food/alcohol poisoning i've ever had.
it's lasted over a week and
my poo looks funny.
anyway...

i decided to postpone the festival until december,
and instead of feeling such envy toward others that can afford to go on tour,
pick up some more hours at work and save more for my own
escape from america.

economic collapse is always inspiring.
people like you and me
who are resourceful
always survive.



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